To Be Otherish

I wrote a guest blog recently for Exact Target on the topic of organizational authenticity. It elicited an anonymous comment that attacked my authenticity. Specifically this commenter, who is either an acquaintance of mine or done a great deal of research, accused me of hypocrisy- saying one thing and doing another. The comment stung a little since I can certainly be hypocritical at times. But it also pushed me to think a little about intentions and motivations. In many ways the commenter accused me of conspiring, through my speaking and writing, to create customers for what my company was selling.

On the surface I don't have a problem with this: the foundation of a healthy business is alignment between what you believe and what you sell. But there is another level to it. Is what you are selling improving the lives of others or only yourself? 

In Adam Grant's awesome book "Give and Take" he talks about the concept of being "otherish". I wasn't familiar with this word before. Otherish means to align the needs of others with your own needs. It's a blend of selfish and selfless. If we are only selfish we build a hollow life that collapses under the weight of our needs and wants. If we only focus on others then we lose our sense of self. Being otherish serves both masters. 

The truth is, pure intentions rarely exist in human form. But should we stop ourselves from doing great things because we aren't 100% altruistic in our intentions? No, instead we should strive to be otherish and serve others as we serve ourselves. 

Advice to Job Seekers: Show Up, Do Your Homework and Be Curious

I'm continually amazed at how often job seekers fail to do these three things. This isn't aimed at anyone in particular and is inspired by a recent panel I was on at the Innovation Showcase. This post was also inspired from conversations I've had with SmallBox's Chief Culture Officer Sara McGuyer who sets up most of our HR/informational interviews. 

Show Up: seriously, just show up! When someone comes to us (SmallBox) wanting a job or an informational interview we almost never say no. We want to be accessible as much as possible. But the crazy thing is how many people don't show up or reschedule at the last minute. I know from talking to other folks in town that this isn't unusual. It reminds me of a quote from Peter Buck (guitarist in REM) that I heard years ago: "it's amazing how far you can get in this world by just showing up." Truth. 

Do Your Homework: most companies, including mine, have spent a lot of time building websites that will tell a visitor in detail a good deal about them and their business. So do your homework people, visit the website, Google the people you are meeting with, ask around. If you don't do your homework it will show and you will not get asked back for a follow up. 

Be Curious: I'm always amazed when I have an job/informational interview and the person I'm meeting with has no questions for me. Show some curiosity. People love to talk about themselves, give them a chance to do it and they will look back on the conversation fondly. It's just how we are wired. So always be curious and come prepared with questions in case you can't think of any on the fly. 

Ok, end of rant. 

Curiosity Trumps Fear

A recent article by Peter Hinssen on LinkedIn makes the argument that fear is the engine of a startup.

"Fear is not a bad thing. It's what keeps you focused in a startup. I've always thrived on fear, because it can bring out the best in you. " - Peter Hinssen

Ok, sure, it's healthy to have a good dose of paranoia, to stay on the look out, watching for possible disrupters, but I feel it is much more important to remain curious and open. In my opinion, curiosity trumps fear 9 times out of 10.

Fear causes our minds to contract. We go into fight or flight mode. Our higher mind shuts down and we become very defensive. Our ability to clearly reason and think fades. Being in a constant state of fear- which is what Peter Hinssen is advocating- will create a reactive organization, one that isn't innovative and disruptive. We all know these businesses, they are focused on protecting the fortress and putting out fires, not building highways and sharing knowledge. 

As we become more connected and open we must learn to compartmentalize our natural instincts that served our ancestors well but often blind us from realizing our true human potential. Fear has a place but it cannot be the primary driver of how we live and work, it must be a tool we utilize intelligently when needed.

Start With The Obvious

I recently saw Todd Henry speak at an awesome hybrid music/speaking event Kristian Andersen put on at the Speak Easy. Todd said many wise and wonderful things but one statement stood out and has continued to resonate with me:

"Start with the obvious and it will lead you to the obscure."

This really hit home with me, often I discard or discount the obvious, regarding it unworthy of consideration or inclusion. But, as we have all experienced in our own lives, what seems obvious to one person is not to another. Maybe we can blame Robert Frost for this. We are all looking for the "road less traveled." The reality is that those less traveled roads often connect to the highways.

Waiting on the obscure often leads to delays or nothing getting done. We must place a higher value on forward momentum than novelty.

Our desire to elevate our thinking and work is noble but to accomplish this we must shift our thinking and begin to regard that which is obvious as a portal. It is simply the first step that will lead to much deeper, less obvious revelations. It will lead us to the obscure. 

related: I recently worked on a weekend recording project that was influenced by Todd's "begin with obvious" thinking. I did the session with a group of guys I have worked with for years, even going back to high school. Often in the past we have gone out of our way to create music that was as unconventional, or weird, as possible. We didn't want to sound like anyone else, we wanted to be unique and obscure, original to the point of annoyance (according to my wife at least). For this session we framed everything around "commit". We committed ourselves quickly to the most obvious course of action- this song could use a vocal harmony, ok, let's do that! The result was 6 songs finished and mixed in one weekend. We all feel it is some of best music we have ever made (and my wife and kids like it which is nice). You can check it out here: The Pink Eagles on Sound Cloud or Musical Family Tree.

Wearing Two Hats: Master and Servant

I was honored to spend 30 minutes recently talking with Howdy Holmes, the former Indy 500 racer and current CEO of Jiffy Mix. During the conversation he said something that really struck me as a core disconnect in many organizations- "ownership does not equal leadership." He was speaking in reference to family businesses, Jiffy Mix is one, but I realized it had applications well beyond family businesses. It's a problem most owner led businesses have. Most owners believe that the fact that they own the business means they are de-facto leaders. But leadership and ownership are two distinct roles, two hats often worn by the same individuals. This creates the opportunity for all kinds of confusion.

This is something I continually struggle with, balancing these two roles, wearing these two hats. As I see it, my job as CEO of SmallBox is to serve the company but as an owner I expect the company to serve me- creating meaning, wealth and opportunities for me and my family. So in the first instance I am a servant and in the former I am a master. 

I think most business owners don't see a separation of roles. They see the company as something serves them. They have a master mentality at all times. This manifests in the choices they make as a leader. 

The easiest way to observe this is in how owner-leaders use their time. An owner-leader that has a servant mentality looks to align their time with the needs of the organization and conversely one with a master mentality looks to have the organization align around their needs. Either behavior sends powerful signals across an organization. The primary byproduct of the behavior is that employees begin to mimic it. 

Consider this- which behavior do you want employees to mimic? I think most owner-leaders want their employees to mimic the servant mentality- serving the needs of the organization, putting the organization, and its customers, first. They want employees to have a "we" over a "me" mentality. But when owner-leaders exhibit "me first" thinking they create the unintended by-product of employees who mimic that thinking and behavior. The result is a company where everyone is looking out for themselves, collaboration and innovation languish and overall results disappoint. An ironic outcome.