What I Learned from 2014's Big Freeze aka Snowpocalypse

This past Sunday the snow was falling and I was looking forward to being snowed in for a few days. I had a pork butt smoking on the Green Egg, a fire going, records playing, games with the kids, etc. I was looking to do some reading, catch up on email and hibernate a little more before heading back to work. But everything changed around 2:30pm when the power went out. After waiting a couple hours we decided, with the approaching cold front (Arctic Vortex!) that it was best to evacuate. Fortunately my in-laws live in town so after some packing we made our way through the snow and resettled at their house a few miles away. 

Tonight, back home at last, I am sitting by the fire, listening to records and reflecting from the last 3 days. What was learned?

I wash my clothes way too much. You can wear the same jeans and shirt for 4 days.

In-laws are awesome. Jenny's parents took the 5 of us in, and our big dog Russell, and made us feel at home. Good food, wine, games. We were hardly roughing it. I know we put them out but they never complained and I feel lucky to have them in my life. Thanks John and Cheryl! 

Good neighbors are priceless. My neighbors kept a watch for our lights to come back on, their text last night "Lights are on!" was the most exciting text I've gotten in a while. When we finally got back in the house my neighbor Ray across the street came and cleared my drive with his snow blower (I really need to buy one of those) when my Volvo couldn't hack it. I can't believe how poorly that car handles the snow. 

I don't like having a beard. I left my razor at home and finally had a chance to shave tonight. It had been about a week since I was already slacking before the storm hit. I really don't like having facial hair. It seems like I can never get past the itchy stage. I don't know how those dudes in Williamsburg do it. 

Being uprooted messes with the mind. One thing I noticed when I started to come back to work this week was that I was more unfocused and discombobulated (love that word) than usual. I was a mess, basically. I didn't feel centered or on my game. My energy was off. A lot of that, I think, comes from being uprooted. It made me think about how fortunate I really am. I mean, come on, I packed up the family and drove 3 miles south to stay in a very nice, warm house- first world problems all the way. But so many people around the world live in an almost constant state of disruption. Often we think of this in physical terms but this small sample experience reminded me that the mental impact is equal if not greater. I feel much more sympathetic to those that struggle with maintaining a safe and comfortable home. Now I want to challenge myself to do something about that, how can I build on this increased awareness?

We (still) crave shared experiences. It was really interesting to watch, almost as peaking through a window, everyone's reaction to the storm via social media. Sometimes I like to look at my wife's Facebook feed and vice versa. Since we have many of the same friends it can seem weird how different each feed can be. So it was interesting to see that the storm/freeze created an overwhelming shared experienced that forced us out of our highly personalized feeds, if only for a small period of time. As a culture we don't have many shared experiences at this time. There aren't a lot of moon landing moments. It felt good to go online and see all of us talking and sharing about the same thing. We may have been snowed in but it felt a little bit like we were in it together. 

What was your experience? What did you learn?

To Be Otherish

I wrote a guest blog recently for Exact Target on the topic of organizational authenticity. It elicited an anonymous comment that attacked my authenticity. Specifically this commenter, who is either an acquaintance of mine or done a great deal of research, accused me of hypocrisy- saying one thing and doing another. The comment stung a little since I can certainly be hypocritical at times. But it also pushed me to think a little about intentions and motivations. In many ways the commenter accused me of conspiring, through my speaking and writing, to create customers for what my company was selling.

On the surface I don't have a problem with this: the foundation of a healthy business is alignment between what you believe and what you sell. But there is another level to it. Is what you are selling improving the lives of others or only yourself? 

In Adam Grant's awesome book "Give and Take" he talks about the concept of being "otherish". I wasn't familiar with this word before. Otherish means to align the needs of others with your own needs. It's a blend of selfish and selfless. If we are only selfish we build a hollow life that collapses under the weight of our needs and wants. If we only focus on others then we lose our sense of self. Being otherish serves both masters. 

The truth is, pure intentions rarely exist in human form. But should we stop ourselves from doing great things because we aren't 100% altruistic in our intentions? No, instead we should strive to be otherish and serve others as we serve ourselves. 

Struggling With Vulnerability

I hate feeling vulnerable. It makes me feel weak and exposed. Everyone probably feels the same I guess. When I was in 2nd grade I had one of those harrowing choir experiences, you know, where the teacher makes everyone do a solo in front of the class. I was terrified and completely froze. I don't know if I've ever felt that intensity of horror since. So I've known early on that vulnerability isn't native to me in any way. 

When you start a business it can help to appear invulnerable. You want to look confident to potential clients and employees, give off the vibe that you are here to stay. But over time a business is actually better served by a vulnerable leader- one that can take input, ask for help, admit weaknesses. There are some companies that thrive under charismatic, invulnerable leaders but they rarely survive them. 

Personally, I do not want to build companies that exist to serve me. I want to build companies that serve a real purpose. A purpose that has a positive impact on the world and also inspires others to become employees and customers. And yes, a purpose that empowers the company to make money. But to serve a purpose I have to become vulnerable. You cannot serve something or someone without becoming vulnerable. 

Being vulnerable doesn't mean constantly doubting yourself. In fact it can sweep away the shadows of doubt- nudging a difficult topic into the open for honest assessment and proper assignment. Being vulnerable can create similar emotions to feeling weak but I've been surprised to see how much strength comes from displaying vulnerability. It's a paradoxical thing. 

Vulnerability is a first cousin to love, that touchy feely emotion we often try to keep out of the workplace. But we all know that love can do that magic math where 1+1=3. The same thing goes with vulnerability. It usually leads to a byproduct that is greater than its parts- whether it be a new level of understanding, deeper friendships, greater collaboration, etc. We tap into our super powers when we become vulnerable. Unfortunately we have spent most of our lives, and humankind's evolution, fighting vulnerability for survival's sake. There is much to unlearn.

So I continue to struggle with vulnerability. I know the more vulnerable I become the closer I will be to realizing my potential- personally and professionally. My fear of vulnerability is what is standing between me and that potential. I hope someday to become that fully realized person but for now I continue to struggle.